


Of Marriage Vows and Wooden Spoons

by TumblingTroublesomeTumbleweeds



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Friendship, Gwaine is amused, Gwaine's hair needs a tag, Humor, M/M, Merlin is not, Poor Merlin, Protective Arthur, Protective Hunith, Spoon Abuse, Spoons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-16 04:50:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1332565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TumblingTroublesomeTumbleweeds/pseuds/TumblingTroublesomeTumbleweeds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hunith and Arthur fighting over who gets to give Merlin away. Inspired by matchsticks_p's comment and her fic 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrel'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Marriage Vows and Wooden Spoons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [matchsticks_p (matchsticks)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/matchsticks/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Dirty Rotten Scoundrel](https://archiveofourown.org/works/193061) by [matchsticks_p (matchsticks)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/matchsticks/pseuds/matchsticks_p). 



> Short, sweet, OOC. Totally, shamelessly prompted by a comment made by matchsticks_p over at LiveJournal. If you liked this, give the prompting fic a peek, it’s called ‘Dirty Rotten Scoundrel’ and I swear I ruptured a spleen laughing. “His freewheeling hair is emblematic of his freewheeling affections”.

Merlin sighed in exasperation.

This _was not_ happening. 

“He is my son by birth!”

“He has been my ward ever since coming to Camelot! And it is a male’s responsibility to give the bride away”

Okay, this _was_ happening.

Merlin groaned and rested his head on the table. “I am not a woman!” he said but he was ignored by the room’s other occupants.

“I am his mother!”

“I am the prince, therefore, I win”

Merlin flinched at the crack that resounded from in front of him and Arthur was holding his head, momentarily cowed. Hunith had a wooden spoon raised above her head in annoyance. “That boy came from my loins, I carried him for nine long, torturous months and was in labor with him for over TWELVE HOURS!”

“I watched over him while he was being courted! I made sure Sir Gwaine treated him with the respect and honor he deserves!” despite the irritation of this whole ordeal, Merlin couldn’t help but feel a flare of fondness for Arthur.

“I made sure Gwaine made an honest man out of him!”

The fondness disappeared and Merlin groaned again. Another crack resounded through the room and Merlin winced slightly, but couldn’t find it to pity Arthur. “Are you implying my son was anything but honest?!” Hunith screeched, brandishing the spoon in front of Arthur’s nose and Merlin was reminded of a similar situation in which Arthur was the one threatening Merlin with a spoon. He rubbed the spot on his head that the spoon had made contact with and felt a small trickling of pity for Arthur.

“I meant I was protecting his virtue!”

The pity disappeared too.

“My virtue?” Merlin yelped incredulously, “when was that even yours to defend!”

“Silence!” Hunith and Arthur said at the same time. Merlin’s jaw dropped.

“As I was saying,” Arthur said, turning back to a livid Hunith, “I reserve the right to walk Merlin down the aisle because I am the prince and I also happen to be the one who protected his reputation from Sir Gwaine and his freewheeling hair!”

“Let me tell you, young man,” Hunith brandished the spoon and Arthur had the good grace to eye it warily, “I am two decades older than you and I am his mother. His flesh and blood. I brought him into this world and I can take him out of this world therefore, walking him down the aisle is my job and mine alone!”

“Now see here-!”

Merlin didn’t stick around to hear the rest. Slipping out the door, he caught sight of Gwaine’s twinkling eyes. The knight (and his hair) were sitting on a bench outside Merlin’s house. Merlin sat down next to him and sighed in exasperation as another yelp drifted out to them. “We should just elope,” Merlin groaned, resting his head in his hands. Gwaine laughed and carded his fingers through the curls at the nape of Merlin’s neck, tugging the young warlock against him.

“And deny those two their wedding?” Gwaine chuckled, “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to face the combined wrath of Arthur _and_ Hunith if they find out we ran off and got married in secret". Merlin shuddered at the thought.

Another yelp sounded from inside the house.


End file.
